Key&Peele, We Did The Teacher’s Draft Already…Circa 2011

While Key and Peele flopped salaries and came at it from the SC angle, Poppycock saw 2011 with impending strikes as a chance to treat top teachers like star athletes with the below transcript from a PBS broadcast of the Educator’s Draft. They did it better, but I can’t help but mention we did it first (damn you, zero production budget). Sure, they went with Radio Music, we went with Kodak, but I feel like we’re splitting hairs at this point.

 

An excerpt:

[Roll VTR]

[ ♪♪]

Jim, narrating:

There is the beautiful sunset on Hollywood Boulevard this Tuesday evening and

a shot of the spectacular Kodak Theater where tonight’s first round draft coverage is looking to have a lot of shake-ups after weeks of speculation. Here from the balcony you can see the goings on as we get ready for the most exciting day of the year for those looking to go pro. This draft day is a big event bringing  stars and celebrities out from all corners of the business. In attendance is Margaret Spellings, who we see here, the former Secretary of Education under George W. Bush. She is best known for bringing us the “No Child Left Behind Act” in 2001, and for having one of the most profession-appropriate names since Chris Moneymaker won the 2003 World Series of Poker. Here we can see two winners of National Teacher of the Year. On the left is 2001 winner Michele Forman and on the right there is the 2010 winner Sarah Brown Wessling; teachers of Social Studies and English respectively. And of course the voice of the 2007 documentary “The War,” the one and only Keith David. 

Jim:

Good evening, and welcome to first round coverage of Educators Draft Day 2014: Lottery for the Future, here at the beautiful and historic Kodak Theater in Hollywood, California. I am Jim Lehrer.

Judy:

And I’m Judy Woodruff. This has been a long awaited day in the world of education and a landmark moment as far as national non-sports unions. Also with us today we have correspondents on the floor and on satellite feed. For interviews with draft picks and prospective schools with a chance at some of our top picks, we have the host of NOVA Science NOW here on PBS, Neil deGrasse Tyson. Neil.

Neil:

Hello Judy, Jim. Very excited to be here. There are some wondrous and amazing discoveries everyday, and these are the most talented professionals on the cutting edge of sharing that information with boys and girls everywhere.

Judy:

Also our guest expert sports draft analyst from ESPN and founder of Kiper Enterprises, Mel Kiper, Jr.

Mel:

Glad to be here, Judy. Been working around the clock and have some exciting last minute Big Board changes in the Top 25 after the last pro days and the teaching combine. We have a lot of talent this year and I think we can expect to see some great teachers in the science fields coming off the board early, going to some middle schools that are in need after some tough finishes the last few years thanks to the standardized testing and the free agency trades that went on just before the Spring Break trade deadline.

Judy:

Finally, with color commentary and reactions from the floor we have our resident Muppet, Elmo. Elmo.

Elmo:

Hello, Elmo’s friend, Miss Judy. Elmo so happy to be here. [laughter] Elmo cannot wait to talk to so many special and smart people. [laughter] Elmo is going to do the best job Elmo can, today. [laughter]

Judy:

I’m sure you will do just fine, Elmo.

Elmo:

[laughter]

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