Our E3 Wish List

With E3 just around the proverbial corner, we are turning our sights to exactly what we expect and hope to see. Starting Monday with press conferences from Ubisoft, Playstation, and XBOX E3 kicks off with a bang on G4 with live coverage of some of the biggest news in gaming. There is a lot to cover this year more so than in the past with the growing clamor and rumors of the next generation of consoles. Whether we will get a look at anything from XBOX or Playstation, we will see what kind of thought Nintendo has put in to the U–we’ve already seen photos of a redesign controller since the first announcement from Nintendo.

We will see games…lots of games. That’s not all this reporter wants though. This is our top ten wish list for things we want to see at E3 this, our first year covering the event.

1. The reign of the sequel

Assassin’s Creed III, Crysis 3, Gears of War Judgment, Borderlands 2, Halo 4, BioShock Infinite, Kingdom Hearts 3D, Black Ops II, and GTA V. I’m looking forward to seeing if these games can reinvigorate their respective series’. With the money involved in this industry–triple-A titles running as high as 100 million for development–There is a great fear to try a new IP when a sequel can move units on name recognition alone. I get this, but if you’ve got to reanimate some of these narratives with some familiar faces, I am going to need more than a clever co-op mode and a redesigned HUD. Let’s hope these upcoming titles can live up to the hype.

2. Hands-on

I can’t wait to play some of these titles. I want demos, betas, full levels, and some chances for some Q &A on these titles. I need to play some games. I am here to review and preview mostly, and I want to get my fill of actual in-game action. BioShock Infinite is tied with Dishonored as the games I can’t wait to molest via controller. The Last of Us is up there, too. I hope the lines are short and the levels are bug-free–it is a wish list, after all.

3. Concessions

After some research, I am now on-board with those out there hoping that this year brings good coffee and food. There’s a lounge and a media center on the floor map, but I am beginning to get nervous that those names have an implied wink. As the desire for decent coffee and comfortable chairs is noted more than once, I’m beginning to hope the amenities are at least slightly higher than a police station at 3AM.

4. Console announcements

I’m not talking WiiU–we’ve all heard the almost ambiguous nature of Nintendo’s next offering, but I want at least a timeline from Microsoft and Sony. I don’t need an actual box, that’s impossible at this time as we have heard that Sony and Microsoft are each still deciding what CPUs and processors to put in these things. I’ll pass on the box,  but I need some kind of teaser. What I fear is that this is the last year at E3 where it is exclusively current generation support. This will be the last calendar year where consumers will tolerate the milling of rumors without some confirmation on what is to come. Go ahead, be silent on when we can get what you’re making, but this is absolutely the last June you get without a title lineup and a sweet-ass console inside a plexiglass box on stage.

5. Kinect II

It’s all rumors as far as I know, but I want to see what the refined Kinect will be able to do. I have heard facial recognition. A better camera can recognize more subtle movement and can even read your lips and infer your mood from tone of voice and facial expression. Maybe it can even respond to my commands verbally? I know this sounds a little too 2001 to keep your skin from crawling, but it’s not like it will become sentient. If the Kinect II is as cool as I hope I might have to get one…and I’ll call him HAL. One way or another, at least Siri might have someone else to talk back to.

6. Free shit

I want free stuff as much as the next poverty-stricken writer, but I really want cool crap. I know a Master Chief bobblehead is a lot to ask, but I need things. I don’t care if it costs a nickel to make and comes with dangerous levels of lead in it’s paint. I want trinkets, key chains, laniards, maybe a shirt or two, stickers as far as I can see, and maybe a beer koozie. Look, it’s a trade show, not Comic Con, but I am looking forward to designers, developers, and third-party companies looking to impress. It’s not bribery, really, but it’s close enough that I will be disappointed if I don’t go home with an Umbrella Corporation-themed Snuggie. Just sayin’.

7. Everyone showers

We can say ‘professionals’ as much as you want, but most of the people coming to this thing are going to be guys that are, or are not far from, being bloggers in their mother’s basement. They might be serious movers and shakers, trendsetters even, but most of the guys wearing badges are going to be nerdy as shit. All the more power to making a career out of nerdy, but let’s hope that by day three that the LA Convention Center doesn’t begin to smell a little like a post-Katrina Superdome. Too soon? I get it.

8. Booth babes

It’s a bucket list thing.

9. Someone likes my shirts

I am designing a couple of ubernerd shirts and I’m just hoping I get a couple of nods for how cool they are. Screw you, I’m really putting in the work on these things.

10. A genuine damned surprise

Of all the things I wish for from E3, this one takes the cake. Everything is “leaked” before these things–we know everything before this show even starts. The new GOW was “leaked” this week. We got a vague teaser for Elder Scrolls Online. We have heard about console rumors. BioShock Infinite has been talked about before its release as much as BioShock was after its release. We know a lot about Halo 4 and can infer some of what we’ll see in Assassin’s Creed III. There is little that will genuinely surprise the gaming community. These leaks–seems every company is riddled with moles and loose lips–have taken much of the steam out of the E3 reveal possibilities. We know what is coming, now all we have to wait for is the details. This event has been cheaply hyped, but I don’t think the payoff will be there; no money shot. I want just one thing that will melt my face and blow up the Twitterverse. I want one thing, completely shocking that will send preteen boys through puberty. It can be a brand new IP or some awesome new peripheral or software update to online marketplaces–XBOXLive goes free? Probably not, but I’ll take anything! Just please drop a couple of bombs on us like we’re named Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Too soon? I get it.

There’s our wish list for E3. We decided not to mention parking, though we can only hope it’s not a total clusterfuck. Not to mention the hope that I can avoid the traffic from a damned Kings game. Shit. Well, nonetheless we’d like to hear what it is you’re looking forward to seeing most. Drop us a comment if you feel like voicing your opinion. I can’t imagine that a gamer would want to vocalize their opinion on video games, but there’s a first for everything.

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