White People! Start Fucking More!

The New York Times reported today that the inevitable unthinkable has happened: White people are the minority.

OK, they aren’t the minority. They are just pumping out babies at a lower rate than all other races combined. In it’s totality, “other” is now pumping out more kids than non-Hispanic Whites. Now, I don’t know what a “non-Hispanic White” is, but it sounds like this is a big deal.

The Census Bureau reports that white babies only make up 49.6% of births, making white babies a minority for the first time in American history. This information has been expected, but the date was ambiguous. Finally, after some 200 years of inviting immigrants of non-white heritage in to this country–literally importing them at one point–the melting pot has boiled over, and the contents are browner than they are white.

This shocks me not, but the entire article seems to be written from a perspective that feels just a bit racist, with a pinch of fear. White women are averaging in their forties, “past their peak fertility,” while Latino women are in their premium child-bearing years with a median age of 27.

It also asks whether the elderly are going to be willing to fund education for a young population that “looks less like them.” Wow, so we’re saying that the elderly are racist? Duh. They are a bunch of conservative bigots with oxygen tanks. If we don’t like the idea that the elderly are bigots, then I say we stop inventing shit to keep them around longer.

I say good riddance to the white past. To hell with it. Who cares? This is what you get when you build a country on the backs of other races. When you keep asking people to come here, you can only think that they’re gonna fuck. It is a country that champions the pursuit of happiness, after all.

Who gives a damn for the Anglo-Saxon forefathers and their bullshit outlook on human rights and equality. I hope to hell and back that our forefathers are rolling over in their graves. Most of those bastards are in hell anyway. What, you don’t think raping slaves is a sin? If it takes more minorities to dull the blade of racism, then I welcome the little brown, yellow, and black babies that are getting pumped out at, literally, a record pace.

I won’t miss the white America of the past. It never really was white. Sure, the face on TV were white in the 50’s. Sure, token black characters and shows were a spectacle in the past, but that isn’t the times today. If this information tells me anything, it’s that gay is the new black. Instead of Sanford and Sons and the Jeffersons, we have dyn-o-mite shows like Glee and Smash. It’s gayer than ever. Don’t even get me started on Bravo, but this too will move in to a past issue as more open-mindedness and social liberalism come in to the mainstream.

The people who must be shaking in their boots is the GOP. Man, they are gonna be in some trouble. White people are their white bread and butter. Minorities chose either liberalism or just don’t get involved. Latinos don’t seem to vote at all, even though they make up an ever-growing segment of the population. According to the NYTimes article, some 50,000 Latinos turn 18 every month. Holy shit. Now that’s a strong voting base if you can get ‘em to the polls.

The article goes on to show some high points for white people to be excited about. As I read it, I almost heard, “but not all is lost” in the back of my head. Old people are all really white. Like, 73% white in some areas, but the youth don’t even account for 20% of a particular population segment. Well, at least we have the old folks. God forbid those bastards finally die and let us move forward as a nation.

With all this said, I am thinking about a couple of points the article doesn’t raise. It makes note of Hispanics having larger families at a younger age than white people. That sounds like a sex education problem, not some idea that whites are losing their foothold in this country. I also don’t know why the idea of rationed health care for the elderly isn’t discussed a bit more in the article. We’ve got a financially back-breaking amount of old white fucks that might not want to support education for brown people? Fuck ‘em. That should be part of the SS questionnaire. “What are your thought on minorities?” Depending on what they say, we decide whether we even want these people on the planet. There’s a thin line between Arian Nation and Archie Bunker. I say, Let the Archie Bunkers of the world die, and as far as the article says, it looks like the ranks of the Arian Nation are doomed as it is.

Hey, I’m all for a darker future. Bring on the adorable brown babies. Who gives a shit? If you’re on this planet and you’ve got a problem with white people being out numbered by “other” in America, then move to fucking Canada. Good riddance. I for one love the food of minorities, the music of minorities, and the hospitality. White people are dicks. The fact that this is an article in the NYTimes that required a jump is ridiculous. Let’s all admit it, the NYTimes is written for white people. You find it on more white men’s lawns mowed by Mexicans than the other way ‘round. So, leave it to a white paper to report that white people are outnumbered and then discuss the very serious policy issues this presents for politics, the economy, and education. Fuck you, NYT. This was an article written for white people, and from the tone I felt, it might as well have been titled, “We’re Being Overrun!” I say, bring on the world’s best tamales, jazz, and fried rice. I for one, am looking forward to a browner America.

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