1: Skateboard. You can bike, run, play basketball, hike, hit the gym, and even roller blade if you’re secure in your manhood, but you cannot skateboard.
2: Cannot remark on “the things he would do…” to young, sexy pop stars and actresses
3: Say: “Tweet that shit!”…and then tweet it.
4: wear a baseball cap backwards, unless in a community softball league in the final inning down two runs with a man on second and first and two strikes on the last out in the bottom of the inning.
5: Be seen in an Abercrombie store without a 15-year-old girl trying to look like she’s not his daughter.