FT: Criss Cross TV Apple Sauce

Five Things: TV show crossovers I want to see

Psych meets Law & Order: SVU

“I’m Shawn Spencer, and this is my assistant Reginald Tenenbaum III. I am a psychic detective with the SBPD and I am sensing that a teenage girl has been raped, dumped under a bridge and…wait for iiiiiiiitttttt…possibly tortured with Pagan symbols carved in to her stomach. Don’t be scared. It’s a gift. I accept praise in the form of cash, check, and canoodling. Whaaaaattt? This guy knows what I’m talking about.”

Real Housewives of the OC meets Drugs, Inc.

“I cannot believe Gretchen. I am throwing a perfectly fun 80’s themed coke party, inviting the Cartel bosses and she has to drag up the last heroin orgy I didn’t invite her to. Ugh. Who does she think she is. Get ooooovveerrrrr it. I mean really.”

Jersey Shore meets Jeopardy

Alex Trebek: “The situation. For 400, Answer, This is the state also known as the Garden State.”

19 Kids and Counting meets Intervention

“We are here as your friends and loved ones. We want you two to seek help today, or we will all cut you out of our lives. You two are sex addicts. You can either seek counseling and get your fucking tubes tied, or we can no longer enable your procreation nepotism.”

Doomsday Preppers meets Hoarders

“In this room, Chris, you have 50 guns, 10,000 rounds of ammunition. Over here you have one metric ton of cornmeal, 900 gallons of water, and more MRE’s than I think I could find at Point Mugu Naval Base. Not to mention the freeze-dried potatoes, and what could only be a few thousand cans of preserved food and non-perishables. Chris, you and your wife have to let go of some of these things so you can start to live again. This is no way for a person to live. You are hurting your loved ones, and your daughter, look at her, is heartbroken with you living like this.”

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