Toyota Cars, they keep on going, and going, and g…LOOK OUT!

Well Toyota keeps heaping it on us now don’t they. Most recently we now are hearing talks of a potential Prius recall based on bad brakes. This after some eight models of cars were plagued with reports of accelerators that tended to stick a little. It seems Toyota doesn’t want us to stop driving their cars…literally.

Poor puns aside I think that the ill-fated Cash for Clunkers program that moved so many Americans in to the largest automakers vehicles might now be able to somehow be blamed for this tragedy. I would not put it past pundits to accuse the Obama administration for putting hard working Americans lives at jeopardy. Though, if these fuel efficient coffins do their nastiest then I think it could wholly wipe out the trendy upper middle class and be a boon to the republican bid in 2012 simply by eliminating the competition.

It seems we just can’t catch a break here in America. We shipped a lot of our labor and work oversees and some say we just don’t produce anything any more, we only consume it. Well our taste for finer things at bargain basement prices has led to shoddy workmanship on a massive scale and we have traded economical for death defying. What better rush than to take a white-knuckle hell-ride to work every morning at 40+ miles to the gallon…you won’t need your coffee, and that’s good because you won’t be able to stop for it once you get going in a Prius.

Could this be a bigger, sinister plot? With China shipping us lead enriched toys and Japan shipping us our own craps table on wheels I am pretty sure that this is the most low key war ever waged. A new axis of evil has emerged. Japan and China have settled their differences and are conspiring to topple the sleeping dragon by making sub standard toothpaste and rocket propelled body bags instead of just dropping bombs and landing infantry on our shores.

Kudos to the great Asian nations for having the fortitude to wage this very strange and protracted battle. Pearl Harbor was clearly the first blow to be struck, not the last. With bombing Hawaii out of the question you went with producing millions of cars and employing over a quarter million people world wide, just waiting for your moment to strike. When the times were rife for the attack you struck with faulty pedals in ‘greener’ cars, there by striking a blow at environmentalist pseudo-hippies in the process.

You might think it is going unnoticed, the inconvenience of it all, but I see it. This is terrorism, plain and simple. They are ruling us by fear when now we have to be suspect of even our toothpaste, Tonka trucks, and now our very own cars as weapons of mass destruction. No one would suspect that the iPod of cars would be our next terrorist weapon to contend with. The Republicans will have a field day with this, there were no Toyota recalls under the Bush administration, Indeed.

Genius really, putting you weapons in my driveway and my toy box…what, I like Tonka, but all the same we just didn’t see this kind of warfare coming, we’re not prepared to fight back. We don’t export anything that we can viciously taint so as to mildly inconvenience you with. The only weapons we have sent over to your country in McDonald’s, though it is a formidable weapon in and of itself, 10 to 15 years of that and you’ll really know who you’re messing with…not the same really as hurtling in to my cul de sac at 95 mph in my new Camry through Ms. Henderson’s Azalea bushes and stopping in her living room; well played, Japan.

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