Grand Old Party Purity: Get tested every six months…

to avoid an outbreak of moderate views and ideas

or: in case of a ‘moderate ideas’ outbreak, take Purivax every day until you again hate gays, immigrants, and rekindle your love for guns. (side effects may include rash, dizziness, prolonged spells of irrational fear, misinformation on all political topics, a predisposition to simply scream instead of reasoning with opposition, anal leakage, and even supporting G W Bush for re-election. If side effects continue, contact your nearest republican representative for a job, immediately.) Purivax, wouldn’t this country be great if we had a moat?

For many years leading up until now the very driving force of hope and joy has been sucked out of my life force by one story after another of truly despicable and shocking actions by those vested with the responsibility of representing the proletariate they were elected to fight for. Week after week and year after year, the will of the people has been largely ignored, as well as the masses of the world, as America, specifically the GOP, ran rough shod over every human right and possibility of progress this country has had on a myriad of topics. When Obama was elected, or was campaigning even, this country began to polarize in a way that I had not seen in my lifetime. As he became president and started enacting his decisions on policy and action, the outraged tides were stemmed no longer, and the tidal wave of irrational fear and neo-racism came rushing in from all sides. I felt that there might have been a real chance for bi-partisanship in this country despite this, but I have been so wrong. Though Obama may claim to want it, I haven’t seen it, and if the GOP’s new purity test is any indication, the conservative right has now galvanized to shun even moderates who represented the possibility for across-the-aisle progress in this country.

If you haven’t been obsessed with politics as I am, then you may not have caught wind of the new ‘purity test’. It is a list of ten policies and platforms that every republican running for office in 2010 must adhere to so as to receive support from the GOP in their election. The ten items include opposing Obama-care, bills like the stimulus package, anti-amnesty immigration laws, protecting the defense of marriage act, and supporting the right to bear arms, among others. Every candidate must meet at least eight out of ten of these items to qualify as a conservative republican and be eligible for support in fundraising and endorsements from the far-right GOP. The test was designed to weed out moderate republicans in the coming elections; with no support from their party, moderate candidates would die leaving an opening for the GOP supported, far-right candidates to run for office in the house and senate.

I want you to think about this for a minute, I mean really think about the message the GOP is sending to the public and it’s party. The GOP is saying that if you aren’t with us eighty percent then you are not with us at all. It is no secret that I feel the GOP has entrenched itself for legislative war up until now; this proposal now stipulates that no traitor shall be given quarter, and no nay sayer shall be in rank and file of their army. The GOP has essentially stated that they are now requiring every candidate to either give not an inch, no bi-partisan consent, and to hold true to ideologies of the conservative core of the party, or they can join the drum march in to a communist Soddom and Gammorah ushered in under the guise of ‘responsible governing’. The party is now cutting out anyone that isn’t completely with them, requiring them to play ball or they will be excommunicated from the party to fend for themselves on their outlandish ideas of a moderate nature.

When I thought about this I found a few things quite funny as well as terrifying. When I first heard about the ‘purity test’ consisting of ten items I immediately thought that it could not have been a coincidence that the conservative, religious-right came up with ten rules to campaign by, or be shunned in to damnation…c’mon, ten commandments maybe? The party decided that they needed a list of ten mortal ‘sins’ to judge men by as an election came around. Someone decided that ten, exactly ten, items needed to be highlighted that required adherence, so as to get in to heaven..I mean, the RNC. I find it so funny that the religious arm of the conservative party, an all too powerful group of decision makers with puppeteering hands, had to pick just ten. If you look at the rules I see that there are two that sound very much alike, as if they had nine, but needed to fill to conjure images of Moses handing down platforms and policy reform to live by…I’m guessing they think Moses would have run for the Senate.

When I heard the term ‘purity test’ I then became cold and fearful, my laughter dying out. A purity test? Could it be that a bunch of lawmaking, rich, white men decided that they needed a system by which to measure the purity of those in their party, and to a greater extent, the length to which they would go to achieve it? The last time a bunch of white men sat around in a room talking about purity, a million people vanished and Poland had it’s worst tourist season ever; just saying. Hey, if the TEA Party can call Obama “Hitler” then I think this is a fair situation to turn the ‘light of the third reich’ on its head. I find it a very scary proposition for the possible progress in those brave people willing to open their minds to moderate views, that could represent a populous well, when their party has got a knife to their GOP umbilical cord. The sweat needs to be pouring on the brow of those willing to hear legitimate concerns from the left right now. There they are pouring over their voting record and policy moves to make sure they qualify, or where they can fudge the results to fit in the new cement boots of a helplessly desperate party center.

What does this all represent? How has the party become so hostile and unyielding in their policies so as to take it to the extreme of a political contract? I cannot understand how the members of the republican party can stand idly by as those willing to explore moderate compromises are burned at the electoral-stakes as witches. I think it shows a complete lack of respect for the times we live in and the possibilities that are out there. The Grand Old Party is showing its age as it is not willing to embrace a growing population of those Americans, even republicans, that are pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, pro-gun legislation, and pro-health care reform. I know that Obama, and nobody so far, has it right on every issue, the times today have complicated these issues, but I think it is damaging to us as a nation to have one of the two parties unwilling to budge or support anyone that is open to hearing new ideas and constructive criticism to the point that you must sign your ability, as a representative, to re-evaluate your stance as you mature and new information or concerns come to light. Nothing can be gained if we are not willing, first, to truly be open to change.

I am outraged at the audacity of the GOP to literally hold a career ending gun to the heads of those wanting to make change and do good for the public, though in a misguided way, and to stunt their ability to be sentient beings. You are handicapping some of the greatest young minds your party has to offer and you make no apologies for it. If it were me, and I was a republican (shudder), I would be the first to stand up and say “hey, isn’t our conservative party lines and exclusive party policies what lost us every source of power we had in 2008?” Just saying. This party was supposed to be rebranded, remember that? Where a bunch of republicans sat around in what looked like a Pizza Hut and talked about the party ‘rebranding’ and then they placed a black guy as their party representative, Michael Steele. I remember that, do you, GOP? Was this the rebranding, because this feels more like branding…literally branding your party members like cattle on the farm as your intellectual and literal property. Save a horse, ride a Republican.

There is a more nefarious idea I explored as the republican’ts put this out, do you want to elect anyone who signed it? As a republican I would fear two things. First I would fear that my representative was so conservative that they would qualify, and secondly, that my representative trying to get elected would fudge their record or lie to get the GOP support by signing it. Either way the country and the constituents lose. If they are so conservative that they qualify, then progress on the myriad of rights, amnesty, and reform policies would never be explored, even as information and concern changes with time. Your representative would have to ignore moral and constituent’s imperatives to re-evaluate just so as to adhere to these strict guidelines. In this situation the will of the people and this country would not be done. Secondly, if they lie or scheme their way in to the good graces of the party, do you want a slime-ball like that representing you? Would you want someone willing to disavow their own guiding principles in favor of GOP support and funding? They are essentially selling out for money even before they get in to office, there is no way that person has the moral aptitude to represent you and stand up for what is right when they feel it is time, no matter the cost. Either one of the candidates represents the worst possible option when faced with the fallout of not getting with the conservative program.

There may be an upside to this though, as the liberal that I am. The ten commandments as they stand (let’s just call them what they are) would not allow for Sarah Palin, based on her record and platforms, to qualify for support from the party and therefore could not get a nomination to office from the Republican party. This is great news as that maverick can not play the Washington game with her ‘shoot from the hip’ kind of ‘tell it how it is’ mentality. Little Miss Land of the Midnight Sun would have to jump on the GOP bandwagon or get trampled to get to the white house. How great is it that she could not get the support to make a run, unless she recanted, went back on her word, morals, rogue persona, and let the party ‘handle’ her to get to the white house. She would have no footing, if this list stands long enough, from which to run for office. She could not run as a republican representative without the nomination, so she would have to run as an independent…Hardy-fucking-har-har. Hell, they would send Nader back out there just to beat her, and how great would it be for Palin to suck republican votes away as an independent leading to an Obama landslide in 2012!?

The new party line of “qualify or fuck you, Commy” is going to weaken the party in the end. This kind of mandate will further fracture the party, alienating a moderate republican base and hurting the party in 2010. The question of “are you GOP pure?” will come up and will be a platform for candidates to campaign on. This test of GOP balls is a shining example of some of the fundamental issues Obama faces trying to make headway with these fastidious conservatives. They have their heads in the sand on the direction of this country and where it will inevitably lead as causes rise, oppressed groups get larger, and the issues for middle-america become more dire. They will be hurting themselves by saying that they accept no treaty and no compromise. Digging in their heels like this seems to be an appeal to the TEA Party movement and an all out ass-presentation to those involved supporting the 9/12 project. Don’t think that the GOP doesn’t have a specific demographic in mind when trying to retake seats of the senate in many conservative states that flipped on them.

The GOP is attempting to shun those that could be a key asset to showing the party’s aforementioned “rebranding” in the future, opting instead for a party manifesto to weed out the unsavory characters eroding what this country stands for…hmmm, seems there was this guy Karl who had a manifesto once (turn around is fair play after all). I cannot pretend to not see what the religious-right base is trying to do. I have to say that if you are trying to reach out to new voters and appeal to lapsed republicans after a decade of screwing up, the last thing you wanna do is push someone that you are trying to pull in from the ledge of a 15 story building. The action you should be taking is inclusion, open dialogue, and free exchange of ideas which could lead to those on the fence choosing your dead republican grass over our brown liberal grass. This oathe-like list has done little but to disheartened those of us that wanted bi-partisan progress, and scare the shit out of those in your party that don’t fornicate in a pentagram covered in the blood of a thousand enviro-activists while rhythmically chanting the names of all republican presidents. You can’t blame them for doing some house cleaning though, because when you are trying to stage a national coup for power you can’t have any pussy moderates standing in your way examining the ‘consequences’ of your ‘actions’. Heil, Reagan!

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